❌ This Ain’t a Free-For-All:

Consent, Respect & First Impressions in Polyamorous Spaces

Let’s go ahead and say it plain:

Just because someone is polyamorous does NOT mean they’re automatically available to you.

Being in an open relationship, posting a photo in a polyam group, or expressing interest in non-monogamy is not an invitation to be objectified, disrespected, or sexualized.

Too often, especially in online spaces, people (often men) assume that polyamory means “I can say and do whatever I want — because y’all are down for anything, right?”

Wrong.

🧠 Read the Room, Boo

Polyamory is one branch of the big, beautiful tree that is ethical non-monogamy (ENM).

There’s polyamory, polygamy, swinging, open relationships, and more — each with its own values and boundaries.

If you’re in a polyamorous space, you need to understand that:

• Most folks there prioritize emotional connection, autonomy, and mutual growth.

• That doesn’t mean they’re prudes. It just means leading with lust ain’t it.

• These aren’t hookup hubs — they’re communities built on trust, care, and communication.

If you don’t know the culture of the space you’re stepping into — pause and learn before you speak.

🚩Polyamory Doesn’t Mean Access

It means someone might love more than one person — with consent, intention, and clear boundaries.

It doesn’t mean you get to jump into someone’s messages with sexual comments.

It doesn’t mean someone is automatically “open” to you, your desires, or your assumptions.

Polyamory is not a permission slip to skip consent.

You’re not owed a conversation, attention, or affection just because you find someone attractive.

💬 How to Appreciate Without Objectifying

You can compliment someone’s photo. You can shoot your shot.

But it’s how you do it that matters.

✔️ Try this:

• “Hey, your energy in that photo really stood out. I hope it’s okay I say that.”

• “You look amazing — thank you for sharing your light.”

• “I’d love to connect if that’s something you’re open to. No pressure at all.”

❌ Avoid this:

• Uninvited sexual comments

• Messaging someone without consent

• Treating people like they’re there for your fantasy

You can have desire and decency.

You can be bold without being disrespectful.

🌱 Boundaries Still Matter Here

Being polyamorous doesn’t mean being available to everyone.

It means being open — intentionally, with respect, care, and clarity.

If you want to connect with someone:

• Ask for consent before messaging them privately

• Be ready to hear “no” or receive no response at all

• Don’t assume access just because you’re interested

People in poly spaces deserve the same dignity as anyone else.

Actually — we might deserve more. Because we’re doing love with layers, and that takes extra care.

💌 From Me to You

To everyone navigating polyamorous spaces:

• You don’t owe anyone access just because you’re here.

• You get to have boundaries, even in “open” communities.

• You’re allowed to be beautiful, sexy, radiant — and still not want to be sexualized.

And to those wanting to connect:

Lead with respect, not with assumption.

Because polyamory might mean many loves — but only the right kind of love gets invited in.

🍃Aeris Bloome