🌿 Different Tables, Same Heart: Why Every Relationship Feels Different (And That’s Okay)
- aerisbloome
- Jul 8
- 2 min read
In polyamory, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison.
Who do I feel more connected to?
Why does this love feel lighter—or heavier?
Shouldn’t they all feel the same?
But the truth is: every relationship brings something different to the table, and they’re supposed to.
You’re not building identical houses with different people—you’re co-creating unique spaces with their own blueprints, energy, and story. One might feel like Sunday morning coffee. Another might feel like a late-night dance party. Both are valid. Both are love.
💡 Check-ins: Not Just for When Things Feel Off
Just like a car needs regular maintenance even if it’s not making weird noises, your relationships need regular check-ins—even when things feel “fine.”
Ask yourself and your partners:
Are we still building the version of love we both said we wanted?
Are our needs still being met—or have they shifted?
Is there anything you’ve been holding in, brushing off, or hoping will change without saying it?
These conversations keep your love aligned with intention instead of assumption. And guess what? They’re also one of the most powerful ways to keep jealousy at bay.
Because when you’re in tune with your connections and honest about your needs, there’s less room for imagination to fill in the gaps with fear.
🧭 Every Love Has Its Own Language
One relationship might be deeply emotional. Another might be more playful or rooted in adventure. Some might be sexually intense, while others feel spiritually grounding.
This isn’t a red flag.
This is your heart’s range.
This is your love showing up in its many forms.
Instead of asking, “Why doesn’t this feel like that relationship?”
Try asking:
“What is this one trying to teach me?”
“How does this connection nourish me in ways others don’t?”
“What can I offer here that feels uniquely us?”
💌 Don’t Be Afraid to Fall In Love (Again)
Sometimes fear creeps in when we feel ourselves falling for someone new. Especially if we’ve been hurt before… or if we think we already have “enough” love in our life.
But love isn’t pie. There’s no cap.
And falling in love again doesn’t take anything away from the loves you’ve already built—it deepens your capacity to hold, give, and receive.
You’re allowed to fall again.
You’re allowed to feel new things.
You’re allowed to want more, as long as you’re honoring what you already have.
🌱 Final Thoughts
Your relationships don’t need to be equal.
They need to be equitable.
They need to be honest.
They need to feel like freedom, not comparison.
So here’s your gentle reminder:
You’re not failing just because one love feels different than another. You’re living fully.
And your heart? It’s big enough for all the tables you’re sitting at.
Below is a FREE worksheet to help sort it all out for you. Made with LOVE.....
-Aeris Bloome
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